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More Humour 9/2/2019
Dave woke up after the annual office Christmas party with
a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable
to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs,
where his old lady put some coffee in front of him. “Louise, ” he moaned, “tell me what happened last
night. Was it as bad as I think?” “Even worse, ” she said, her ...
3 Comments, 53 Views,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score |
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What in the difference- 9/2/2019
Between a lollipop and a sucker?
2 Comments, 23 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score |
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Does size really matter 9/2/2019
Wonder if women really r into size or it just dont matter.
Help me with this one plz
0 Comments, 5 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score |
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To The Point 9/1/2019
A woman whose was hospitalised in a US tornado
told ITV News "God would make her better."
Presumably, 's a different God from the one
almost killed her with a tornado....
0 Comments, 13 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score |
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Even More Humour 9/1/2019
There was a local family whose was frankly very
overweight and unattractive. I remember one day her mom came into school and spoke during
assembly explaining she could no longer stand the bullying and had hanged herself the night before.
<br><br>
The whole school was in shocked silence, then one lad shouted
out, " hell, it must have been a strong rope."
0 Comments, 17 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score |
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Why 8/31/2019
Why did the chicken cross the road because the pervert could
not get his knob of it .... what cum first the chicken
or the pervert ??
0 Comments, 9 Views,
7 Votes
,1.00 Score |
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Why 8/31/2019
Why did the chicken cross the road because the pervert could
not get his knob of it .... what cum first the chicken
or the pervert ??
0 Comments, 6 Views,
5 Votes
,0.86 Score |
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Pharmacist joke 8/31/2019
"Being a pharmacist is great because you're
kind of a doctor, but also a cashier." -Dave Attell
1 Comments, 8 Views,
7 Votes
,2.53 Score |
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More Humour 8/31/2019
There was a knock on the door and on answering it discovered
a Policeman holding a photo of my wife . He asked "Is this your wife sir"? to which I replied
yes . He said "It looks like shes been in an accident"
And I replied "I know but shes got a lovely personality
"
0 Comments, 13 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
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More Humour 8/31/2019
Fuck I remember the days when I was a you could go into
a shop with £1 and come out with 2 tins of coke, a wham bar,
a bag of crisps and 2 magnums.... Now , Fuckin CCTV everywhere.
0 Comments, 10 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score |
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funny guy 8/30/2019
I have been writing volumes of jokes my entire life, now
at the age of 61 I've been sifting through my writings,
im a funny guy.
2 Comments, 19 Views,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score |
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points 8/28/2019
points points points points points points points
1 Comments, 8 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score |
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Wanna hear a joke. 8/27/2019
My sad sad need for points
1 Comments, 8 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
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More Humour 8/27/2019
A is in the kitchen making dinner for her family
when her walks in. “, where do babies
come from?” The thinks for a few seconds and says,
“Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married.
One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug,
and have sex.” The looks puzzled so the
continues, “ means the daddy puts his penis in the
mommy’s vagina. ’s how you get a ...
1 Comments, 23 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score |
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more humour 8/26/2019
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone
and a nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm looking for to unlock my phone....
0 Comments, 9 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score |
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More Humour 8/26/2019
One the first teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her . She came to the part of the story where the first was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...and
so the went up to the man with the wheel barrow full of straw and said, "Pardon sir, but may I have some of straw to build my house?" The teacher paused
then asked the ...
3 Comments, 52 Views,
11 Votes
,3.73 Score |
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Jokes 8/25/2019
There has to be some joking involved
0 Comments, 4 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score |
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How do you—- 8/24/2019
make a snowman the beach?
0 Comments, 11 Views,
5 Votes
,1.19 Score |
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How do you—- 8/24/2019
Get an elf of a tree?
0 Comments, 7 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score |
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What- 8/24/2019
What is the difference between cats and kittens?
0 Comments, 19 Views,
7 Votes
,0.49 Score |
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more humour 8/24/2019
In a recent survey 100 women were asked what shower soap
they preferred . 99 percent of the women replied "Get out of the shower
you pervert"
1 Comments, 14 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score |
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More Humour 8/24/2019
I came home from the pub last night and the wife said to
me "What time do you call this"? 56 years of age and still cant tell the time ....
1 Comments, 19 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score |
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Just need a good FWB 8/23/2019
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have
a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
0 Comments, 4 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score |
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More Humour 8/20/2019
One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighborhood
on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed
both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short
Bob, the homeowner, coming out the front door, stepping
around empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow, Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last
night!” the postman says. Bob, in obvious pain, replies — ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
10 Votes
,2.59 Score |
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Camping 8/18/2019
Have you ever had sex while camping? <br><br>
<br><br>
It's fucking intents!
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
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What is... 8/18/2019
The other side of summer compared the dead of winter?
0 Comments, 13 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score |
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text me 502-389-1837 8/17/2019
what kind of bees produce milk? <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
boobies
0 Comments, 13 Views,
12 Votes
,1.92 Score |
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What 8/17/2019
Is the difference between a ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score |
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More Humour 8/17/2019
An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great.
How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?' George replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when
I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof!
The light goes ...
1 Comments, 39 Views,
11 Votes
,2.61 Score |
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More Humour 8/17/2019
A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old as a lodger.
She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house
told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted
to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. "Monday's the best night, when my husband goes
to darts, " she said. The agreed to have a bath the following Monday. After her husband had gone to the ...
0 Comments, 45 Views,
13 Votes
,2.64 Score |